Like small acts of kindness, I feel like saying “sorry,” often gets overlooked these days. And I don’t mean the yeah, yeah I’m sorry because it’s something I’m supposed to say sorry or the I’m sorry because you asked me to say sorry. (We’re all guilty.) I’m talking truly feeling remorseful after doing something wrong, something that especially affects someone else, and being able to admit that you were wrong and asking for forgiveness.
I look up to someone who can do this, and I am trying to get better at this myself. Now that I am a parent and am trying to instill these characteristics, characteristics that may be ultra traditional and not a big deal these days, I realize that it’s not only important for my son to grow up knowing right and wrong and to be kind and sensitive, but also it gives me the opportunity to step back and look at myself. I need to be more like the person I am trying to influence Holden to be.
Just like saying sorry and meaning it, it’s just as important to accept and forgive. Now that I’m laying everything out on the table, this is one of my huge flaws. Until recently, I’ve always been someone to trust everyone until they give me a reason not to. That was my way of going about things. But what I didn’t realize was that once I’ve been given a reason not to trust someone, I had been completely resistant to letting them back in, and to forgive. I guess just being skeptical of that person’s character. Holding a grudge internally.
If you’re an over-analyzer like me, if someone were to cross you and later apologize, you’re mind would race a million times a minute. I don’t know if they’re telling the truth. But what if they are telling the truth. But what if they’re not. And do they really mean the sorry or are they just saying it. Etcetera. I still do this, but I will say that I am trying. I am working on it. I’ve realized that being unforgiving can multiply the problem exponentially. And it eats you up inside.
It’s another choice you have to make. You get to make. To be sorry and to be accepting of the sorry.
All I’m sayin’ is we’re all human and imperfect. We make mistakes. We choose wrongly. Just admit it…and no tip-toeing. Fully, And apologize.