I watched as the evolution from confusion to understanding came across her face. She put the puzzle together.
The lightbulb moment: A-ha. She says, “Oh okay, I was about to say so you’re the one who just got married, but that must have been your sister.”
Umm, actually nope, that was me!
He chimed in too. About the same time. Yep, that’s her!
Then the drop of her jaw. Embarrassment, foot-in-the mouth. Really, I assured her, it’s okay. Everyone does it. Not a problem. She giggled. We all did.
She was an animated character, that one. With her short bob and the twinkle in her eyes. I instantly liked her. I was walking to baggage claim at the airport with him, we had just landed. She was on our plane and knew him. Who doesn’t in this town? We got to talking while walking down the terminal.
Lots of people in this town also know my parents, know my family. In conversation, one fact leads to another fact, and people figure it out. Sometimes even just a swipe of a credit card will do the job. So in fact, it’s been brought to my attention lots of people know me, or know of me or things about me- know that I was married. Know that there was a wedding. All because of a feature story in a local social magazine. The wedding issue. I, the cover bride. Rather, “Diamond Girl” I believe was the title. (My dad is a baseball coach, hence the pun.)
So, all too often I get inadvertently reminded of it. The wedding, the union of a marriage that ended a short 20 months later. Unfortunately there is no “divorce” issue.
So, the community who saw and read I got married, still think I’m married. And that’s okay. After all, it was only 4 years ago. What’s even more okay is my reaction. I know the direction in which these conversations go. No more lump building in my throat, no more sweat perspiring on my temples, no more tears welling in my eyes as I hear the words in slow motion, watching that puzzle being put together across their faces. The pivotal point of Ohh, that’s you!
Yes. That’s me. And I’m divorced. And I have a two-year-old son. And I have a boyfriend.
On a calendar, one would say that’s not a lot of time for all these milestones. A girlfriend of mine joked at a recent wedding, “Sami, some girls just have it all!” We laughed for a while. I do have it all- all the downs, and more importantly, all the ups. The downs were necessary to get me to those ups. And I’m doing great.
So whether it’s to the fellow parishioner complementing me on my wedding gown, the yoga instructor asking if my boyfriend was my husband, my boyfriend’s friends who were also featured in the issue as we joked over dinner, or the new stranger and her light-bulb moment, what I have to say is this: Yes, that was me, and it’s all good.