I’m about to embark on my next journey. And I wanted to take a moment to live in the moment. The feeling I have in my heart right now is heavy, but in a good way. I have a heavy feeling of gratefulness and feel as though I’ve taken a further step into healing. Just by knowing it’s around the corner.
I start graduate school on Monday. To obtain a Masters in Community Counseling at that big university down the street. A Masters, for now. Graduate school was always an idea, but never quite a goal to check off the to-do list until a few years of real-life experiences bombarded my overall well-being. Instilled within me was a want and a need to give back. To whom? I didn’t know when I applied, and I still don’t know quite yet. But to give back what has been given to me- the logical pathways, the emotional support, the strong rationales to recover from being so damaged. To instill within others the confidence that they can make lemonade out of lemons too.
I wouldn’t be able to do this if it wasn’t for the people surrounding me, that’s for sure. Let’s be real, I have help. And lots of it. It really does take a village to raise a child. And I’d say it takes a country to raise a child while mommy goes back to school.
I resisted that help for a while, but it wasn’t until the resisting stopped that I was able to truly recognize what needed to happen to better my own life, and ultimately better Holden’s as well. To be vulnerable, and to accept help.
Not only am I just grateful for those who watch over and love on Holden when I’m not there, I’m also grateful to those who have stood behind me, supporting me, pushing me, and encouraging me to further my education. Those two groups of people aren’t mutually exclusive either.
So, to my parents and family, my boyfriend and his family, Holden’s school, and my countless friends, all I’ve got to say is thank you. Really, to my own village, thank you.
And a thank you to a psychiatric nurse practitioner who planted the seed when I was at my weakest. One little hint at potential in my future. By encouraging me in saying, “the best healers come from wounded warriors” some time ago.